Screams it right in your god damn face until you start crying. Redbreast practically screams prestige and subtlety. PalateSlick and oily, with cream, cinnamon, and exotic spices. NoseOrange and vanilla, with hints of tea. It is one of only two pure potstill Irish Whiskeys still in production today. It's like cigarette ash and those Fun Dip candies, you know with the powder? And something else, like moldy br - you just, you know better, okay? Let's leave it at that.Ī unique and distinguished drink, Redbreast is a 12 year old pure potstill Irish Whiskey distilled in County Cork, Ireland. Now, a lot of people are going to swear Chlamydia doesn't have a taste, but you know better. That guy sucks anyway, and besides, there's like eighteen hours before you even have to think about grabbing a cab to the clinic for an STD panel. She's just a little too eager to suck a dick, but hey - that's a problem for Tomorrow You to worry about. But that's only because she couldn't correctly decipher the drunken spinning of your fists, and admired the spontaneity and balls it took for you to try to start a solo mosh-pit for a Creedence song. Who You're Going Home WithSurprisingly, a cute little redhead. It also comes in a fancy cardboard tube that will utterly fail to convince the liquor store attendant that you're an "aficionado" instead of a "sobbing drunk." If only there were some way to know what type of whiskey pairs well with the specific kind of irredeemable asshole that you are! Unfortunately, whiskey is like madness - its exact effects will vary depending on family history, mental state, and pattern of drug use - but here's a rough starter guide to help ensure you're the right kind of dickhead drunk tonight:īushmill's '70s porn title-sounding Black Bush is definitely a member of the Bushmill's line, but with a more distinguished character than its common counterpart. But you're sick and tired of grabbing a Kentucky Bourbon and getting into a fistfight with a bicycle courier, when you should be sipping a nice Single Malt and watching mail-order Russian brides wrestle for the imitation diamonds that you threw on the floor. The only things you truly love are yourself, the cardinal sins, and fine whiskey. You're not operating under any false pretenses here: You're an asshole.
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